3
Eventually I remarried. It wasn’t until later that I saw the similarities in the new wife and my son’s mother. Well, one major similarity: both were single parents that had worked two jobs while trying to raise their children. The issues that the first woman had didn’t work for this woman either.

I’ll spare you readers the messy details and get to the point(s).
My second wife and I had “irreconcilable differences” and after nearly five years decided to break things off.

At first the split was civil, a clean sharing of the mutual property etc. The division of property went pretty smoothly. She took the small pickup truck, I kept my car etc. By mutual agreement, she kept one dog, and the cat, but I kept the other dog. She had made it clear that she wanted the other two pets, but I could have the dog. No problem there. She was helpful, even encouraging me the take the dog to a vet to have her spade (she was a year old).

Then things got ugly! We went to court for the hearing. I though it was going to be a simple, in the courtroom and out and then the marriage would be over. But no! When the judge asked if there were any unresolved issues she said that she wanted some of the things that I had, namely, a sword that belonged to my father, my car, and the dog.

I was quite taken by surprise by this, completely off guard.

I prepared for the final court hearing; my mother was there to testify that she had given me dad’s sword. My car was in need of repair and she already had a vehicle to drive. I had papers from the vet showing that I had taken in the dog for routine checkups to show that I was taking good care of her.

I saved the sword and the car; the dog on the other hand went to her! The only reasoning that was obvious: the judge wanted to be King Solomon, cut the baby in half and give equal amounts to each mother. Or at least give her something!

From this experience and from hearing of others experiences I’ve found that a lot of judges are like this thinking that their being fair to both sides. What should I have done? I should have gone to the first hearing with a list of things that she had and that I wanted. Even if I was satisfied with the split, this would have been my hedge against her possible list. If she listed three things that I had, then I could list three things that she had. These items could be used to negotiate with her, “O.K., I’ll take the cat off my list if you take the dog off of yours.” kind of thing. If the list is long enough you can barter with equal types of items. For example, “If you take my dads sword off of your list, I’ll take your moms clown collection off of mine.” If things are harmonious in the courtroom, you don’t have to use the list at all (but you’ll have it just in case!).

The $$ at the end of this chapter: $6724 in attorney’s fee’s plus the $175 that my ex-wife encouraged me to incur by having the dog spade, and then taking her back!